I would like to think I'm wise, after all, I have gray hair, I'm a grandmother and even a great-grandmother (technically speaking), I have a degree in Psychology and work in the mental health industry. My approach to dealing with crisis is humor. Now that I think about it humor is one of those meta strengths of mine and I use it when dealing with most negatives in life, which can sometimes get me in trouble because some people, well most people, don't get it--or they just don't get me.
One of my younger sisters just finished up a grueling fight with cervical cancer. Treatment involved external and internal radiation and chemo. Though she hasn't lost her scalp hair, she has lost significant weight. She now weighs in at a whopping 80 pounds! Not good. Last week they found a lesion on her liver. She doesn't want to fight it anymore, or rather she doesn't want to experience all the nasty negatives that accompany radiation and chemo, and she most assuredly doesn't want a long, huge needle jabbed into her back and liver. She is VERY needle phobic. Yesterday in a conversation with my sister she said, "I'm going to die." Me, in my infinite wisdom replies, "Nah, you're going to live to be an old lady." She says, "It's unreasonable to believe everyone will live to be an old lady." I said, "I think everyone should live to be an old lady. That way even men can be the crazy old cat lady." Doesn't sound so funny here, but it's one of those things where you have to be present in the conversation and situation to get the impact of the exchange. My sister went from dismal and despairing to laughing hysterically. And that folks was my mission in that moment. SUCCESS! Our family motto is: look at life the way a comedian would. This allows us to poke fun at ourselves, each other, and to stick the birdie finger right in the perpetual eye of the universe. Take that life!
As previously mentioned I have a degree in Psychology. It's just a Bachelor's Degree so it's not getting me very far in that all consuming race of American life(styles). I have pretty much accepted the lifestyle of a minimalist. This begrudging adoption of the Buddhist philosophy is workable, though not necessarily likeable. It's a means to an end, the end being a measure of peace in the present circumstances in which I find myself. The mistake of epic proportions that brought me to higher education and this seemingly worthless degree is also what brought me to my current situation--four years of trying to get back on my feet without ANY success whatsoever. Anyway, the topic of psychology and my second quote of wisdom--
My eldest adult child is 30, my middle is 26, and my youngest is 23. When they were children my parenting style was a bit unique. Well, my eldest used to say, "My mom is eccentric." Which pretty much sums up my parenting style as well--ECCENTRIC X100. I allowed my children to speak their minds without censorship, something that drove my significant other crazy. My personal philosophy was: children are people with smaller bodies and less experience; they won't learn unless 1) they are shown/trained, and 2) they are given the opportunity to gain experience--even while making mistakes and failing. G.W.'s Parenting 101 Tip #1: Children will not learn lessons from YOUR mistakes=children must make their own mistakes (experiencing the making of mistakes and feeling the discomfort of the natural consequences is usually more profound and effective).
PARENTS OF YOUNG CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS PLEASE MAKE A NOTE OF THAT
Once again, in my infinite wisdom, I literally stumbled upon a universal truth: There is simply nothing more powerful than a booger; or perhaps I should say the disgust and accompanying fear of said booger…the all powerful booger. Parents, if you want to raise responsible, self-sufficient children who lack the expectation of entitlement, engage G.W.’s Parenting 101 Tip #2: Employ the booger. The rewards are many:
1) You won’t have to expend unnecessary energy spanking your children.
2) You’re children won’t make a visit to the school counselor to turn traitor, exposing your uncontrolled fits of rage evidenced by spanking your children.
3) You won’t have to explain to the cops sitting in your living room why you have abused your children, evidenced once again by spanking your children.
4) You won’t have to weigh the cost/benefit and fanciful (and more often than not unpleasant) outcome of getting into a physical altercation with a teenager who now towers over and looks down at you with obvious irritation and obvious ill intention.
5) Even adult children respond appropriately to the booger.
6) If you employ the booger rule and get a degree in Psychology and become a therapist you can experience some gains and financial rewards from being your adult child’s therapist. And believe me; your adult child will have enough issues to be your return client for years to come!
In the end G.W.’s Parenting 101 Tip #2 makes perfect sense. As my eldest has told me time and again: Work smarter, not harder. It may not be pretty, but that booger represents smart gains with minimal effort. With that I remind all of you to poke fun at yourself, family and friends (even when they are ill) and I further encourage parents everywhere to dig in and not only find, but to utilize their own mother lode.
Adadoligi
G.W.
